He Who is Without Sin Cast the First Stone

Something has been getting under my skin for quite awhile now, and I have written and deleted this post over and over.  I don't want to offend, or hurt anyone's feelings. Being surrounded by church members has done the opposite of what I expected it to do. Perhaps it is me justifying my sins and short comings, but I am so disappointed to see so many people live the culture of the church, instead of the gospel.

It is here, on a campus full of Mormons, that I have never felt more judged, ostracized, and worried about who I am. I have never had so many people assume I was "trouble" because of my tattoos, or question my relationship with God simply because I am dating someone who hasn't served a mission. It is here, in Podunk Rexburg, Idaho that the same person who was very visibly breaking curfew, by sitting in my apartment at one in the morning, actually shush me for saying a curse word. Breaking curfew can cause you to have your endorsement removed mind you...
Now, I am fully aware of what the Lord has asked us to do, and I do my best to keep my mouth clean-its something I have been working on since I was baptized, and believe me, its gotten much better!

I have heard more people say awful things about the Orlando crisis because those individuals were homosexual than ever. I have heard women say nasty things about other women who were wearing skirts that were a little short. It has broken my heart when people make snide remarks about people who made mistakes and can not go into the temple, or people who were married outside of the temple for whatever reason... I don't understand why anyone thinks it is their business...

A few Sundays ago, the man who passed the sacrament to my row, actually asked the person next to me why they didn't take the sacrament. As a matter of fact, he asked twice, and then continued to stare at him for the rest of the ordinance. Just a week or two after that, a member of my bishopric said, "Brothers and Sisters... just don't be a statistic of the church. If you get lost, there wont be any bread crumbs to help you come back." I am sure he didn't mean that to be so harsh, but my heart felt so sad. Not only was that completely false, but if there was anyone in that room who was struggling, I am positive that comment did not uplift and encourage them to feel safe within their designated ward.

I think of all the individuals I met on my mission. Some members their whole lives, some just learning about the gospel for the first time. Oh how much I love them and would do anything to help them get on the path they should be on. I would feel absolutely terrible if I ever made them feel like I was judging them, or looking down on them. Whether it be because of sin, misunderstanding, or anything else... My heart would break for them if I was to learn that they were struggling with their faith, if they felt lost, or if they were feeling uncomfortable at church.

I am not perfect. I am sure I have been one of those people to be so frustrated with someone's actions to judge them un-righteously. Actually, I am sure I have-never intentionally though. This is what the culture of the church looks like to me. All the sudden we are fashion police. We are sticking our noses in places they don't belong, and we are being openly rude when we smell something 'wrong'. We are playing the role that only the Savior Himself has the right to play.

The gospel has never taught us to judge one another. It has never encouraged us to be mean, hurtful, or just plain rude because someone's sins may be more visible than our own. The gospel has taught us to have faith in Christ, enough to repent when we do wrong, and trust that when we do, we can be forgiven and try again. It has taught us that we should be a light to one another. We should open our hearts that we might understand. In Moroni, it teaches us to pray with all the energy of heart for charity-the pure love of Christ. This is the love we are commanded to have for one another. The exhortion to pray with all the energy of heart makes so much sense to me. Being charitable is not always easy. It is the natural man to be judgemental... but because of Christ we can overcome our natural tendancies as humans-that is what the gospel is all about.

I miss the gospel. I miss being around individuals who understood its core purpose, and embraced it. I know there are lots and lots of those people here, I am not disregarding that. Lately I feel like I haven't seen those colors in the individuals I am surrounded by. This really is a good place, and I have learned so much being here. All of this has made me take a look at myself and evaluate where my heart is. I have made plans with the Lord, that with His help, I can be more humble, loving and patient. There is something here for me to learn.
However, there is something all of us can learn if we take a step back and ask, "What Lack I yet?"
No one is perfect. We all fall short of the glory of God. Christ will make up for all that we do lack though, and will help us improve if we desire to do so.
He can help us remember that all of the people around us are experiencing some sort of trial right now, and they might need our help and encouragement; not our judgements and dirty looks.

He who is without sin can cast the first stone-but are any of us without sin?

I didn't think so.